Closing the door
by KaiserAngel
Summary: One shot fic that takes place sometime after the events of Buffy S6 episode 'Hell's Bells' and Angel S3 episode 'Couplet'. Xander and Cordelia meet in Los Angeles on a very intense meeting and they talk about things left unspoken. Please review!


This fic takes place sometime after the events of Buffy S6 episode 'Hell's Bells" and Angel S3 episode 'Couplet'. And forgive some mistakes on my English, cause, you know, I´m Brazilian and Brazilians speak Portuguese… Anyway, please review! Special thanks to Cordelia Melissa Chase, who played Cordelia (of course).

Los Angeles

Cordelia arrived at the Hyperion. She moved across the hall, met Wesley near the coffee machine and stole a donut from him.

- Look! I found out a new power! - She turned a lampshade off and on again with the power of her mind.

- Why don't you get yourself a boyfriend? - the former watcher asked.

Cordy made a grimace.

- And so said the I-have-all-my-romantic-issues-under-control guy - She said in a sarcastic way - You weren't even man enough to ask Fred on a date!

- I'm shy! - Wesley replied.

- Ok, and I'm Queen Elizabeth! - Cordy said sarcasticly - I'm getting upstairs to watch Connor, since his father must be resting on Morpheus's arms right now...

The seer goes upstairs.

Sunnydale

Xander was sit alone at Espresso Pump. He didn't have had courage yet to face his friends. Not after the failure that was his almost-marriage, but he felt a huge need to talk to someone. He finished drinking his expresso, got inside his car, turned it on and drove off to Los Angeles to solve an issue about a building construction he had been working on.

Los Angeles

- Hi, Your Majesty! - Wesley bowed to Cordy, while she was getting downstairs.

- Go to hell... And also, tell Angel when he wakes up I went to the market! You guys here only eat snack, snack and donnuts! This house needs some REAL food... - said Cordy

- And who is suposed to cook this real food? You? Oh God! Help us all! - said the former watcher sarcasticly.

Cordy doesn't pay attention to Wes's comment and get out of the Hyperion. The sun was high and shining. It was a beautiful morning in L.A. She wears her sunglasses and get inside her little pickup, turning it on.

- I love L.A.! The cars sounds, the people, the sun... Oh my God! It could be less hot! It won't take long and I'll have to walk around the streets wearing a bikini! Wow... How I miss Sunnydale... - she talks to herself while stoping her car on a red signal.

Xander was arriving in L.A. He was thinking about what Anya should be thinking at that moment. What she was feeling about his coward attitude. If he had done the right thing, when suddenly 'BAAAAAMMMM'

- Oh shit! - He scold when he noticed he had crashed a little pickup's back.

- What the f... Damn it! - Cordy yelled while looking behind.

She gets off her car to see the damage.

- My back! DON'T YOU HAVE EYES, ASSHOLE?! WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE? ON COUNTRY? Oh, that's just great! Thanks Jesus... - She complains when she sees the damage.

- I'm sorry, lady... But wasn't the signal turning green? - asked Xander getting out off his car and looking to the damage he had caused.

- It clearly wasn't! - yelled Cordelia still staring her car damage - Who is the person in this city who pays attention to the... - She stopped for a moment when she noticed who she was yelling with - ... signal - She finished the sentence almost whispering after the surprise.

- Cordelia Chase! All this time and you still drive like a woman! - He changes his tone to a good-humoured and sarcastic one.

- Alexander Harris! I guess I can say the same thing about you! - replied Cordy on the same tone.

- How long! - he says while he hugs and raise her a few feet above the floor, spinning her.

Surprised by the hug, she retributes the gesture, hugging him tightly. When she noticed, she was already smiling. Then, the other cars start to sound their horns.

- Come on! May the two ladies make out at another place? - complained a driver.

- Can we go to a more private place? - asked Xander.

- GO TO HELL! - replied Cordy to the driver - Ok, of course! We could go to my apartment... We are only a few blocks away. It's ok for you? - Cordy asked Xander.

- Sure! I'm right behind you! - replied Xander.

- Great! - Cordy gets inside her car and fixes her hair - What is this, Cordy? We are not in high school anymore! - She turns her car on and starts driving home.

- Wow! She is really hot! - Xander told to himself while turning his car on - Come on, Xan! You're mourning your post-almost-marriage. You aren't allowed to have these kind of thoughts!

Xander follows his ex-girfriend until she stops in front of a building at a noble neighborhood of L.A. A thoughtfully Cordy gets out of her car, followed by Xander.

- You had to call him to your home, didn't you? You changed, you are a brand new Cordy! But wait, friends meet friends in each others's houses! Right, it's okay, you are not a slut - thought Cordelia, while climbing the stairs.

- Your building is really nice Cordy! I got a really nice apartment in SunnyD too... When you decide to show up, I can introduce you to my place! - said Xander in an over-excited tone - You asshole! You can't even face your friends, how are you suposed to invite your ex girfriend to your apartament? - thought Xander, following Cordelia.

- Wow! I would love to meet it! Is it big? How many rooms? - replied Cordy - How many rooms? You're inviting yourself! You better be quiet, Cordelia - she thought.

- A couple. One of them I use to keep stuffs... The other one I use to sleep, on a kingsize bed - answered Xander promptly - A kingsize bed? That is the one you have been sharing with Anya! The one you left alone in the altar, remember? How do you invite another woman to it after this event? You idiot! - thought Xander.

Cordy wide opens her eyes and smiles.

- I have two rooms and my bed is big too - replied Cordy - You idiot! Stops smiling, this way you'll sound like a slut! And what is this "my bed is big too" about? - thought Cordelia.

They finally get to her apartment. She unlocks the door.

- Home sweet home! - says Cordy while opening the door.

Xander waits his host get in, but suddenly, the door slams shut right in his nose - literally.

- Aaaaawwww!!! WTF?!?! - yelled Xander.

- DEEEENNIS!!! - Cordy scolds the phantom - Open this damn door right now or I swear I'll call a feng shui especialist to exorcize you!

After a while Xander tries to open the door, but it opens by itself.

- Oh my God! I think my nose is broken! - he says while holding his bleeding nose.

- Oh my God! - she starts to desperatly examine him - Let me see... - she touches his nose - I think it's not broken... I'm getting the first aid kit. You can sit and relax.

She runs to the bathroom.

- Dennis, we need to talk! This guy is my... ex boyfriend. And no matter how awkward it's going to sound, I want him around. Do you get it? Play cool, cuz if you don't, I don't answer for myself! It would be way better if you go playing on ghost playground or wherever ghosts like hang out and leave us alone! - she yells at Dennis.

Then, she gets the first aid kit and get back to the living room.

- This Dennis guy is your roomate? Where is he? - asked Xander already sit on the sofa while Cordy gets on her knees and starts rubbing a cotton soaked in alcohol on his nose.

Xander looks around afraid of finding one of those muscled jocks Cordelia used to date in high school.

- He isn't really a roomate, he is a ghost - seeing the WTH face Xander did, she continued - Yeah, welcome to my world! He is a friendly ghost, you know? And also overprotective. But I already told him you are important to me, so... Well, I mean... - She starts to feel her face getting hot.

- Oh, sure! Typical! We are from SunnyD, right? And thanks for being still important for you ... - he looks her in the eyes and they stay quiet for a few seconds, until he breaks the silence - You must have really liked that dress I bought you, right? - he starts a weak laugh.

- Dress? What dress? - she stares him blankly - Oh right! The prom dress... I loved it, I really did! - she laughs weakly too - And his buyer too - this last part she said almost whispering.

- Thanks... - he looks her in the eyes ans starts crying.

- Xander... - she touches his face with her right hand, not knowing what to do - What is wrong? Did I say something wrong? I'm so stupid! I'm sorry... - with her left hand, she touches his right hand.

- No... Not at all. I did everything wrong! I left the woman I love... loved... In the altar. I don't know what to do! How to get back to SunnyD... How am I going to face Willow and Buffy? - he says still crying.

- The woman you love? - she asks a little shocked - So it's true... He was getting married - thought Cordy - Look Xander, I'm not the most qualified person to give you this kind of advice, but... - she didn't know how to finish the sentence, so she took him into her arms.

- Thanks Cordy... I really need someone to talk to... Actually, I don't know what to feel anymore... I thought I loved her enough to spend the rest of my life by her side, but I don't know anymore... - he stated while he stopped crying.

- If you don't know, you should think well about it - she replied keeping him in her arms - Right Cordelia, be selfish enough to act with his fianceé exactly the way Willow did to you. But wait, it was him who said they are not together anymore - thought Cordy, while drying his face with her hand.

- I'm sorry, ok? - He dries his face - I didn't want you to see me like this... Actually, I wanted nobody to see me like this... But you helped me a lot and... OUCH! My nose! Remember me never crying with a broken nose!

Cordelia started laughing.

- I will... And, about seeing you like this, it's me, Cordy! I already met the brave, the funny, the romantic and even the jerk you... Sooner or later, I had to meet the sad you... - she looks into his eyes - And you know what? I like the Xander I'm meeting now...

- Hum... What about you? Dating a lot around here? - he abruptly tries to change the subject, not knowing how to react about the impressive thing he just listened.

- Me? Well... I had a couple of dates but... Not really important. Like I told Wes another day, my charmed prince must be stuck in the traffic! - she anwered laughing.

- Maybe he's just waiting for you to stop on a red sign to hit your pickup right in the back! - he says it naturally, but then he realizes what he just said - Xander, you idiot! - he thinks.

Cordy looks him in the eyes and smile, agreeing with him. At this moment, while she is treating his nose, her hand starts shining and the his nose heals.

- What was this? - he tries to look at his own nose, moving it.

- Well... Hum... Let's just say I have a gift! - answers Cordy.

- Gift? You have powers now? Where do I get the password to gain some powers too? - asked Xander.

Cordy starts laughing. It was wonderful being around him again. She missed it.

- Well... I can't really explain... My powers came a bit of a sudden, but... I'd trade it for so many things... - said an exasperated Cordy.

- Did you know Will is a big witch now? But she is having some issues about using her powers. Addiction, you know? Be careful when using yours. - he says thinking Cordy is a witch too - Hum... No offense, but... You are still straight, right?

Cordy wide opens her eyes.

- Totally straight! I'm not a witch, just some kind of harbinger of the higher plane. And, well... Boys are still my thing! - stated Cordy.

- Oh yeah... Beacuse Will changed a lot when she became a witch... Or maybe she became a witch when she changed a lot? - he stops when he remembers that Willow was the cause of their breakup - Ahn... Not that I think about Will all the time, you know? She is lesbian now, you know? She even has a girlfriend - his voice becomes weaker as he finishes the sentence, since Cordy is becoming angry.

- Well, good for her! And... Her girlfriend! - she makes a funny grimace - Better for me! I mean... Look, I'm not lesbian, ok?

- And what about Angel? Still loving Buffy or he has been losing his soul with someboy else? - he changes the subject trying to move on from the awkward Willow subject.

- Lately? He hasn't been sleeping with anyone, as far as I know. We didn't have to chain him yet - she rolls her eyes - He had a baby with Darla, not an issue... But she died, you know? Well... I think he will be in love with Buffy forever. Certain things never change and a love like theirs doesn't end even if we fight, go away, lie to ourselves. It remains deep inside - she stops when she notices the trade of the pronoun "they" to "we".

- Quite a story... But I got your point - he stares her face for a while and puts his hand on her face, rubbing her cheek - You're really beautiful, you know?

She gives an embarrassed smile, but feels really happy and also, she feels her cheeks getting hot.

- Beautiful, me? I'm so untidy today... - she says very embarrassed.

He starts getting closer to her lips to kiss her, when his cellphone rings. He strays and answers the phone.

- Ahn... Hello? Frank? I'm almost there! Yes, I'm bringing the blueprints... I'll be there in 30 minutes. Ok, bye, bye! - he talks on the phone.

- I hate cellphones. I hate the person who called. I hate myself. Do something Cordy. Do something! - thinks Cordy.

She grabs Xander and kisses him. He gets a little astonished but retributes the kiss, in a gentle way. But suddenly, he gets up, raising her with her legs around his waist. He throws his cellphone away.

- Screw Frank! - he says while kissing Cordy.

- Screw Frank! - says Cordy too.

They kiss passionately. He presses her body against a wall and she takes off his shirt.

- Where is your room? - asks him.

- The door across the corridor - she says while kissing his neck.

He enters the room with her still hanging on his body. They both lie on her bed, with him on top. He takes her blouse and kisses her again intertwining their tongues in their months. They soon take off all their remaining pieces of clothing and make sweet, wild and passionate love.

The couple is sleeping covered by white blanks. Cordy is lying her head on Xander's chest, when she starts getting up. The seer couldn't remember the last time she was so happy. It was like she was back to Sunnydale. She didn't want to leave Xander's arms, not again, but the phone started ringing, so she wore her robe and hurried to answer it, before the noise could wake up Xander.

- Hello! I'm not here... Leave your message after the beep. BEEE... - she was quick saying it, when Angel inturrupted her.

- Hi Cordy! Could you please sing for Connor? - asked the vampire on the other side of the line.

- What?! - she asked surprised, not believing her boss interrupted her wonderful time for this.

- Connor is almost sleeping just hearing your voice! Please? - asked Angel like a kid asking her mother to buy a candy.

- God, Angel! As a father you are a great warrior! - stated Cordy.

- He is an orphan of mother, remember? - asked the vampire, trying to sensitize his friend - Well, no singing now... He is already sleeping. By the way, shouldn't you be working right now?

- Today is my day off! Bye bye, Angel! - turning off the phone.

She gets back to the bedroom. Xander was waking up.

- Good night! - said Cordy in an akward way, cause, well, all of this was awkward.

Xander opened his eyes still not believing what he was going through. For a moment, he prayed to be in his apartment again, on his bed alone in SunnyD, so nothing would be complicated. But he was right there, naked on Corelia Chase's bed. The woman he lusted so much on his teenage days was right there with him. He didn't know anymore how he felt about her, but one thing was clear: he enjoyed every moment of that afternoon and he felt good to be there.

- Good night... - replied him with a smile on his face.

Cordy always kept her feet on the ground. She had changed a lot since SunnyD. She was not a spoiled teenage anymore. She had a job. She helps people. She is in touch with other people's feelings. She retributed the smile, but was still confused and could notice he was confused too.

- I hope I didn't wake you up - said her weakly. She wanted to kiss him, but would he retribute? Sunnydale memories couldn't stop passing through her mind. She shook her head a little, trying to forget them - I'm going to take a shower, then we could... I don't know, order a pizza?

- I don't know Cordy... I really don't know what to do... I enjoyed what we had here... I still like you, but I think we were too fast. - replied him.

- I was already hoping for your honesty - stated Cordy trying to look calm.

She stared him seriously. She wanted him to see her as a woman, as the woman Cordelia Chase, not a teenage anymore. She touched his hand.

- I enjoyed what we had too, Xander! Were we too fast? Maybe yes, who knows? I have no regrets but let's just be honest... I don't want to be fooled... The person you really want is not here on this bed - it was painful for her saying those words, but she was hurt so many times that she learned how to defend herself from everything and everyone.

- The truth is I don't really know what I want at this moment... Dammit Cordy! Why didn't all of this happen 3 years ago, when everything was less confusing? - asked Xander almost sounding desparate.

- I don't have the answer for that... Maybe it's because we were just teenagers and our pride didn't let we share our true feelings... I was weak for running from you like a coward after what happened between you and Willow. I should have fought for us... - she said almost crying, turning her back to him.

- I was the weak one... I just realized how I loved after you left... I wish I could say I still feel that way right now, but I can't. Everything is different now... I'm sorry, but I think it's better I get going... It's late - he said it while his right hand was resting on her right shoulder.

- You're right... - she stared him again - You can call anytime... - she breathed heavily - We had to pass through this, didn't we? - she stands up and kisses his cheek - Be happy Xander! - she forced a smile - When you leave, please close the door, ok? - she left to the bathroom without waiting an answer.

He watched while she walked to the bathroom. He tried to say something that could solve everything. He wanted to say he loved her, but he coudn't do that... How a man who abadoned a woman he claimed to love on the altar could love somebody? He needed to be alone to work things up, to think on what to do now, who to be with. But one thing he knew for sure: he would never forget those hours he had spent with Cordy.

He wore his clothes, took his things and started leaving, but went back to the bathroom's door. He was almost knocked, but stopped. He just kissed the palm of his hand and touched the door.

- Thanks Queen C! You helped me to get back on track...

Then, he left, closing the door as his former girlfriend but, in some way, forever lover asked.

On shower, Cordy didn't know why, but she was smiling. She closed her eyes slowly. She would never forget those hours and now she was back on track too. So, in a whisper, she said:

- Thanks, Xan!


End file.
